Kill the Car

I was driving home from work on Tuesday.

Chug...Chug...Clank...Clank...Whir Whir Whir...

*BEEEEEP* Check Alternator!

*BEEEEEP* Airbag no worky!

*BEEEEEP* Power steering is for sissies!

*BEEeeeeee...

Car. Is. Dead.

(No Battery Power = No Hazard Flashers. Safety third!)

On the highway.

During a snowstorm.

While wearing a dress and tights and heels.

(Do you know what's cold? Being stuck in a car that has no heat while wearing a dress and tights.)

Needless to say, Miss Puff-N-Chug is back in the hospital. She needs a new water pump, $erpentine belt, power $teering pump...

Is it ethical to euthanize a car??

More Car Drama

It was Friday. I was in a great mood...I was having a great hair day and it was the day of my team's "holiday lunch" at work.

I left my apartment and went to the parking lot to drive to work, and...

...(pause for dramatic effect)...

My car was gone.

Towed.

(No wonder my remote starter didn't work)

When my windshield was repaired, they didn't save my parking pass.

Faaaak.

So I called my apartment manager and explained the situation. They were very sympathetic because I had left a message with my them the day the glass was replaced to get a new permit, but they never got back to me.

So yes, my car was towed and I had to go to a sketchy neighborhood to get it back...but at least I didn't have to PAY to get it back. Towing is expensive, yo.

I hear bad things come in threes. I better check my to make sure my AAA hasn't expired. :)

Kiss My Glass

It was 2pm and Ryan and I were making cookies.

(Molasses sandwich cookies with cinnamon icing, in case you were curious.)

(And they are FREAKING DELICIOUS, might I add.)

My phone rang. It was the St. Paul police department. Someone had broken into my car.

AT 2PM IN THE AFTERNOON. That's broad daylight, for those of you keeping track at home.

Luckily, someone had witnessed the crime and immediately called the police.

Unluckily, the three bastards broke my passenger window, rooted through my car, and stole my GPS.


My passenger seat. Anyone want a ride?

Luckily, I have insurance so I only had to shell out $100 to get the window replaced.

Unluckily, the GPS wasn't covered.


Check out my sweet new GPS. In some circles it's called PAPER.

But I am safe. My car is fine. The window is fixed.

The silver lining to this cloudy story? My car is the cleanest it has ever been. When the window was fixed, they vacuumed out all the shards of glass...along with the sand, dirt, stray Cheetos and Starburst wrappers. Score!!

Tire Trauma

Emily wanted to run some errands over lunch. I'm never one to pass up a lunchtime distraction so we decided that I'd pick her up and we'd catch up while perusing the selection at a nearby bookstore.

About a block from her office, I hit a pothole. I immediately noticed that my car felt funny. Not funny ha-ha. Funny Strange.

*Cue Dramatic Violin*

I pulled into Em's parking lot to inspect the damage.

My tire was flat.

Faaaaaaaaaaak.

Never fear, Internet. I took consumer mechanics in high school. I know how to change a flat tire.

But knowing how to change a tire and actually having the physical strength to change a tire? Two different things.

I tried and tried, and no matter how hard I worked at it, I could not get the nuts off.

That's what she said.

I pushed. I pulled. I jumped on the tire iron. No love.

So Emily called her fiance, who hooked me up with some AAA lovin'. Before I could bat an eye, a mechanic showed up, got the lug nuts off (I must have loosened them - that why he was able to get them off), and put on the spare.

Which Was Flat.

Really? REALLY?

Luckily, mechanic man had a tank of air and he pumped it up.

Crisis averted.

The lesson I am taking away from this? I need to do more bicep curls and/or squats so I can get the lug nuts off my car. No, wait. Strike that. Lesson learned: I need to get a AAA membership.

Stupid Car - Part 29087

For those keeping score at home:

Number of times I've had to jump my battery in the past 48 hours: 3
Number of crap windshield wipers on my car: 2
Number of crap tires on my car: 4
Number of warning alerts (check engine, etc.) when I start my car: 3
Number of broken prop rods on my car: 1
Number of leaking washer fluid reservoirs: 1

I HATE MY CAR.

I'm getting a new battery, wipers and winter tires on my car tomorrow. I'm pretty sure the check engine light and all the other crap I hate about my car is here to stay.

My advice: Stay away from the 2001 Volkswagen Jetta.

Tweaking - Part 392

My theory on blogging is kind of like the saying "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all"...except it is "if you don't have anything interesting to say..."

And it would be daily blogging about my stupid ACL. And I'm so tired of hearing/talking/thinking/obsessing over it. But I still can't get it out of my mind. So please forgive me for my lack of non-ACL related posts.

I'm tweaking in full force. The surgery is three days away. I dream about messing up surgery (by eating a Caesar salad the morning of surgery...even though I know I can only have clear liquids). I dream about messing up my knee (by going for a run). I dream about doing things I shouldn't (by wearing high heels)...

So I'm excited to start having regular dreams again. Ones about the Gym Hottie. Ones about finishing marathons. Ones about ice cream. :)

And on an unrelated note, once again, my car decided to be a piece of crap. I got a flat tire on the way home from work yesterday. Gah!!

Snow Woe

Because it snowed 10 inches this weekend, I had to scrape 10 inches of snow off the Pacifica. Turns out, my parents don't have a snow brush in their car. They just have a mini scraper.

Yup, it was just me and the 6 inch scraper. It's not even standard sized. It's a mini. The snow was taller than the damn scraper.

Yeah, that sucked.

My Car Sucks: Part 5974

I hate my car.

I went to Des Moines for a family weekend. When I got in my car and started heading home, it started shaking. Not good. I pulled over (luckily my parents were following me, so they pulled over, too). Dad said it was probably from snow in the tires - it melted and then refroze in the rims and it caused an imbalance. We scraped it off and I was on my merry way. The shaking was gone. Crisis averted.

Anyway. I continued driving home. I was in the home stretch. About a half an hour from my apartment.

And my car started shaking just a little bit. No worries, I told myself. It's probably just shaking snow off the tires like it was earlier.

I was so, so wrong.

Because then I lost power steering. And the battery light came on. And then the check alternator warning started flashing.

Crap.

Just wait. It gets worse.

Because my car started flashing "STOP" and "CHECK COOLANT". I looked at the temperature gauge. It was in the red zone. Oh good.

I pulled off at the next exit. I popped the lid. STEAM POURS OUT. Always a good sign, yes? The thingy (I think that's the technical term) that holds the coolant? Empty. Serpentine belt? In shreds.

What's a girl to do?? Yup. I cried. And then? (dials phone) "Umm...Dad?? My car is broken..."

So I had my car towed to the nearest dealership (Dude...towing is expensive. $90 + $3/mile?? Remind me again why I don't belong to AAA). I'm hoping they can work on it tomorrow.

I hate my car.