Race Report: Grandma's Marathon 2009

Had a great drive up to Duluth with my favorite girlies.



Brought Dashboard Jesus with us.



Had good times at the Expo.

Ate pop tarts in bed.

Slept like a rock.

I woke up on race morning and looked out the window. There was a bank in view - flashing the temperature. 64 degrees.

Yeah, this might be a hot one.

Grandma’s Marathon follows the American College of Sports Medicine color-coded flag system.

When the race started, the flag was red.

RED FLAG (High Risk): All runners should slow their pace and those with previous heat stress problems or heart disease should consider not running.

Yeah, this might be a hot one.

But whatever. We were at the starting line, 26.2 miles from Duluth...we might as well start heading back. So I lined up with my favorite girls - JD, Ruth and CJ - and we started running. It was JD and CJ's First Marathon Ever.

We were off. Annnnnd this is where my defense mechanism kicks in. Details? I don't have any.


We still look good at mile 3! Ruth, CJ, JD, Ally

I felt like crap. I couldn't get into the happy runner groove. The sun was beating down on us with no shade in sight.

The next time I saw the heat advisory flag, it was BLACK.

BLACK FLAG (Extremely High Risk): All runners should slow their pace, drink extra fluids and those with previous heat stress problems or heat stress problems or heat disease should consider not running.

Faaaaaaaak.

No wonder I felt like crap.

At the half mark, the girls stopped to use the Biffys. I still hadn't found my groove, so instead of soldiering on and running my own race, I waited for them. And wondered where in the hell I was going to pull out the strength to run 13 more miles.

We trudged on...putting ice in our bras, under our hats, in our hands, in our mouths. We dumped water on our heads. We took electrolyte strips, salt tabs, gus.

It was hottttt.

I wasn't having fun.

At mile 21, JD need to use the Biffy. I stopped with her, and CJ and Ruth kept on trucking. Ruth asked if "I had JD". Do I have JD??? Pffffffffttt. JD HAS ME. I would NOT have been able to make it this far if I didn't have that girl at my side.

Somewhere around mile 22-23, I spoke the words that I never say. "JD, I'm sorry, but I Need To Walk."

I was walking during a marathon. Not during a water stop. It hurt my soul to walk, but it hurt even more to run. This sucks, yo.

The brightest spot of the marathon was seeing fellow runner Kate at mile 25, who came up from Roseville just to cheer for us. She spotted us and started jumping and screaming. It was like JD and I were Hannah Montana and Kate was a 12-year-old girl. Seriously, I have never heard such an exuberant ruckus, and it made me smile, laugh and cry...all at once. Kate, YOU ROCK.

We rounded a corner and ran by our hotel - and I saw the bank thermometer from that morning. Guess what it said?

91.

NINETY. FUCKING. ONE.

Degrees. Fahrenheit.

I picked my jaw up off the pavement and kept running...closer and closer to the finish line.

And then finally, with a few steps to go, JD and I held hands and crossed the finish line together.



5:16:14.

We hugged. We cried.

JD was happy that she had finished her first marathon. I was happy that the hellacious marathon was finally OVER.

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Fast forward 10 days.

I haven't seen my running shoes since the marathon.

I have no desire to run. In fact, I think I'm going to become a professional swimmer.

I think I've learned my lesson.

Lesson: DON'T RUN MARATHONS.

I kid. I can't stay mad at the marathon. But I can be mad at myself. Yes, the conditions were atrocious, but I was completely undertrained. I did the Stillwater marathon as a training run and then cut my running mileage and intensity too severely.

We always like to say that during a hard workout, we "put a deposit in the pain bank." Well, at Grandma's marathon, I took a withdrawal from the pain bank. Hell, I OVERDREW from the pain bank.

So every time I do a workout and it starts to get challenging, I am allowed to quit. Sorry, nothing left in the pain bank. :)

But I better start making some deposits soon...the Chisago Half Ironman is only 25 days away. Why do I keep doing this to myself??

Three Words

Three words to describe Grandma's Marathon 2009?

Whirlwind. Of. Pain.

Fun facts:
Humidity at the start: 85%
Temperature at the start: 64 degrees
Temperature at the finish: 91 degrees
Percentage of runners that dropped out during the race: 10%
My finish time: 5:16:14

For all of you keeping track at home, that's a PW by about 25 minutes. Twenty. Five. Minutes. That's about a minute per mile.

That sound you just heard? Was my soul being destroyed. Ouch.

More later. I'm off to take some Prozac. :)

Spectathon report: Liberty Triathlon

Last weekend, I gave some love back to the running/triathlon community by being a Spectathlete at the Liberty Triathlon.

Ryan was racing. I don't get up at 4:45am for just anyone. :)



We ran into Steve and Pharmie - Steve was doing the Olympic and Pharmie was doing the Half. Rock stars!

Ryan tested out the waters with a swim warmup. I took pictures.



The race started. I took pictures.



I ran into Steve, Pharmie, and Jen. I took pictures.



Steve peed in the lake. I took pictures.



Ryan came out of the water - SPEEDY! Hit his goal time right on.



Transition. Damn, he looks good in spandex. Better take some pictures.



I headed out to the bike course. I was too afraid to be the obnoxious super-fan for the bikers - I was at the corner where the HIM riders turn for the second loop or the Olympic riders go straight to transition - so I didn't want to distract anyone and make them go off course....

I was expecting Ryan to come by in about 10 minutes...And zoooooooooom. He appeared out of nowhere and zipped right by. He was going FAST.



I also spotted Steve on the bike. Well, technically, Steve's ass. I swear, he just spontaneously appeared.



A few minutes later, Jen flew by.



More pictures. I should really consider a second career in the paparazzi field.

I headed over to the run course. My favorite part. I know how to cheer for runners.

So I cheered for Every Single Runner. Seriously. Every person that ran by me got a shout out.

Oh, and I was holding a sign that said "You Make Spandex Look Good." It was a hit.

Everyone looked great. Steve, Jen, Ryan, and Pharmie all looked rock solid - ready to tackle the run.





Half way through the race, I switched out signs. "Your Feet Hurt Because You're Kicking So Much Ass" is always popular. :)

And before I knew it, Ryan was back, in the home stretch.



I had a fever...and the only cure was...More Pictures.



I know, he has a great ass.

So yes. The spectathlon was a success. Everyone kicked ass - lots of PRs, lots of strong finishes, and even an Age Group award for Jen. I'm so proud of my peeps.

So

So Grandma's marathon is in two days.

So I guess I'm tapering.

So shouldn't I be having a little bit of taper madness? That's my thing. It's what I do.

But I'm not. I'm not going to PR, so I've allowed myself to just go with the flow and enjoy the ride.

Because marathons should be fun.

Running 26.2 miles is fun.

Blistered feet are fun.

Sore muscles are fun.

Right? RIGHT??

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Sidenote: Steve is hosting a contest over at his blog. Go check it out - you can win some free shoes.

June-a-thon Update

June-a-thon has been put on hold.

Indefinitely.

Why? Because I Hate Biking.

Also, triathlon.

Day 1: Rode 2 hours with the TCBC. Yaaay! Biking is fun!
Day 2: Rode 20 minutes. Not too horrible.
Day 3: Rode 30 minutes - most of it in aero. Actually enjoyable.

With this trend, you'd think that I'd stick with it. It was fun, right??

Day 4: (insert the "whummmp" sound as my body collapsed into the couch)
Day 5: (insert sound of crickets)
Day 6: (insert sound of rain - WHO RIDES IN RAIN? Not this girl)
Day 7: (insert sound of teeth chattering - I did an open water swim and it was 49 degrees. Guess who doesn't have a wetsuit? Guess who was hypothermic after the swim? Guess who didn't bike?)
Day 8: (insert the sound of my ass expanding)

Yeah. June-a-thon. Going really well.

So it's weird that after months of procrastinating, I FINALLY sent in my registration for the Half Ironman. On the day I profess my hatred of the bike. Gah, why do I keep doing this to myself??

My ass needs its own Facebook Fan Page

Because clearly, someone is a fan.



Yes. These are OFFICIAL race photos from the Stillwater marathon, graciously stolen from MarathonFoto.

WTF?

June-a-thon

In 2007 I did October-a-thon - running every day in October. Last year I attempted July-a-thon.

This year? June-a-thon. My God, I am ridiculously clever with the naming of these events. Someone should give me a job in Marketing.

But there's a twist this year. Instead of running every day...I will be biking.

Here's the thing. I'm doing a half ironman in 54 days. In the past 30 days, I have been on my bike...four times. Gah. It hurts to admit that.

But it's going to hurt even more come race day if I don't buck up and get my ass in the saddle. And so June-a-thon is born.

Rules:
Rides must be at least 20 minutes.
I am exempt from riding if I run a MARATHON that day.
I am exempt from riding if I am out of town. It's not as easy to pack a bike as it is to pack a pair of running shoes.
Trainer rides and spin classes are acceptable indoor substitutes.

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Day 1:
Success! I rode with the TCBC and got just over 30 miles in. It was a beautiful ride with a few steep hills, and overall it was enjoyable. Pushed hard without killing myself.

One down...Thank God I picked a month with only 30 days. :)

Marathon Miracle

So on Sunday I ran a marathon. Perhaps you heard.

On Monday, I woke up and felt like I had been hit by a Mack truck. The left side of my body was piiiiiissed. Quad screaming, hamstring barking and my lower back and neck were achy. This is by far the crappiest I've ever felt after a marathon.

I got up "early" (ie - early for a holiday) to walk the dogs (I was dog-sitting for a friend, remember these pups?) and we headed over to Como to watch Ryan run a 5k (he finished in the top 10 and PRed by over minute! Speedster!). The mile-ish walk there and back really helped loosen up the muscles.

I was still stiff (TWSS) on Tuesday morning. That afternoon, I met with my massage therapist and she gave me some tough love. I went right from the massage to the pool where I did an easy 30 minutes...I felt great when I got out of the pool.

I woke up on Wednesday morning and thought a miracle had occurred. I felt no pain, no stiffness, no nothing. It was a marathon miracle. I was recovered.

There's no better way to know for sure than to go for a run...so I did a tempo run with the girls on Wednesday evening.

The goal: 8 miles at a 10:25 pace

I thought it sounded a titch aggressive...but I felt great so I decided to give it a shot - knowing that if I wasn't feeling it, I could always cut the pace and do my own thing.

HA.

HA HA HA.

We "warmed up" - our first mile was 10:24. Some warm up.

The average pace for the next six miles? 10:05

As in, 20 seconds faster per mile than our target.

Dudes, I'm back. The run felt amazing, my HR stayed low, my body wasn't pissed. It's like the marathon shook up my body and reset it to the original factory settings.

For the first time since October, I am feeling fast. God, it feels good to feel fast. I hope it sticks...

Mile 1: 10:24
Mile 2: 10:08
Mile 3: 10:02
Mile 4: 10:06
Mile 5: 10:15
Mile 6: 10:05
Mile 7: 9:56

Average pace: 10:08
Total time: 1:11
Average HR: 163

Three words to describe this run: Fast, Fabulous, Recovered