Miss Allycat

I Love Not Camping

2010-05-11T19:48:00.001-05:00

So last weekend Ryan and I went camping.

Yes. Real live sleeping in a tent, outdoor, cooking over a fire camping.

Which I had never really done before.

We decided on Winona, MN (Great River State Park) because Ryan is doing Trinona in a few weeks and he wanted to have a preview of the course. Anyone riding the Olympic course has their work cut out. There is a VICIOUS hill.

Anyway.

Camping.

So on Friday morning, we loaded up the car and dropped the dog off with our good friend Pasta Jesus and made our trek down to Winona.

In the rain.

Oh, did I forget to mention that part? The part where it was supposed to rain the entire day, and then turn into snow overnight? The part where words like "record low temperatures" had been tossed around the forecast? Yeah. Awesome.

Anyway.

On Friday, we rolled into our campsite. Nay, we sloshed into our campsite. Threw down a tarp and tried to set up a tent that neither of us had ever seen before in the middle of an icy downpour. Tried to snap together rods and tie rainflaps and zip zippers with frozen fingers. I might have cried a little bit.

Do you know what causes 90% of relationships to fail? PUTTING UP TENTS IN THE RAIN.

But we got up the tent and it didn't leak (and we didn't kill each other). We piled in our stuff and made a little nest for ourselves. I? Am not a camper, therefore I don't pack like a camper.

Sturdy, rainproof shoes? Bueller? Bueller?

Down comforter? Check. What? I wanted to be comfy!

So, I didn't pack like a camper, but it's a damn good thing I brought that comforter...because it got down into the low 30s Friday night.

And our sleeping bags zip together, so we were quite cozy.

Saturday was much better. The rain mainly cleared and though it was overcast and chilly (and it also SNOWED a little bit), we were able to enjoy the day. We went for a few hikes, we headed into Winona (and warmed up in a coffee shop while drinking coffee), we ate "real" food, we ran the Trinona course, and that night we were able to build up a fire to make dinner and smores.

Sunday, luckily, was glorious. We woke up to the sun beating against the side of the tent and it was a bright and sunshine day. We headed back to Winona and Ryan rode the beast of a bike course (and tackled the hill three times!!) while I ran. We did more hiking and enjoyed the scenic overlooks.

So do I love camping? Wellllll...love is an awfully strong word. I wouldn't say I LOVE camping...but I'll definitely do it again. As long as it's not raining.

It's Later

2010-05-03T17:50:00.000-05:00

...So I ran again a few days later. And again a few days after that. And a few more times for good measure.

3 miles - 11:19 pace
3.5 miles - 11:04 pace
3 miles - 10:33 pace
4 miles - 10:41 pace
3 miles - 10:15 pace

Do you see a trend??

FASTER, bitches!!

So if my math is correct and I shave 30 seconds off my pace every week...I have a decent chance at winning a 10k come July. :)

But, No...I don't consider myself a 10:15 pacer just quite yet. I was feeling particularly rambunctious and it was only three miles...

I think I can stick to 10:30s for awhile...and in a few weeks I'll put the hurt on and see if I can work my way down to a 10:00 pace.

The secret to this plan? NO DISTANCE RUNNING. Marathons are for ~~badasses~~ pussies.

Somebody Call 911

2010-04-29T21:48:00.000-05:00

A few weeks ago, I had a meeting with my runner girls (and guys) to discuss Ragnar - Wasatch Back.

We had so much fun with the Great River Relay that we decided to do a new Ragnar relay. A destination Ragnar. Utah, baby.

Up to this point, I hadn't been running.

(Yes, I took five month off from running)

(No, the Couch to 5k didn't stick)

So we were talking about the relay, talking about which legs we wanted to run, and working out details. And it all made me incredibly happy.

As I was driving home, I felt myself glowing. I was SO EXCITED to run. I just had a feeling that I was going to be FAST this year. The Fire? It was back. Frickin' Finally.

So I went out for a run. My goal: Run three miles without stopping.

Funny how goals can go from "run three marathons in three weeks" to "run three miles" in such a short time frame. :)

So I went out there, ready to be FAST.

(Fire burning, fire burning on the ~~dance floor~~ running path!)

I ran 3 miles without stopping...at 11:19 pace.

HELLO, reality! Am I SMOKIN' FAST? Not even close.

Speed will come later.

Auto-Lock Can Kiss My Ass

2010-03-22T18:17:00.001-05:00

I think I have mentioned my complete paranoia about the tires on my car. Yes? Yes? Yes? It is not unfounded.

Well, a few weeks ago, I went out to my car, ready to head to the office. I thought one of my tires looked a little low.

I hopped in the car with purse and all my work stuff, put the key in the ignition...and decided that it would probably be a good idea to check the tire pressure before I went anywhere.

So I got out my trusty tire pressure gauge, got out of the car, unscrewed the tire cap...

<beep>

Fuck.

That beep? That one you just heard? That was my car locking itself.

VWs have this "handy" feature where if you unlock your car but don't start it within 30ish seconds, it automatically locks itself. WTF??

So there I was, standing outside my car. I could see the keys in the ignition, but had no way to get them.

I should mention that I only have one set of keys.

Fuck fuck fuck.

Well, I guess I'll call AAA.

Nope, phone is in the purse. Purse is locked in the car.

Guess I'll head back into my apartment. I'll IM Mom and she can call AAA.

Can't get into the apartment, keys are in the ignition.

At least I can wait in the lobby.

Remind me again HOW you will get into the building without keys?

GAAAAAAAAH.

So I grumpily marched back the building. Luckily, my building has an intercom system, so I was able to talk to the building manager. She buzzed me in, but I had to wait around for the maintenance guy to let me into my actual apartment. And it was smooth sailing form there - I IMed with Mom, she called roadside assistance, and all was well.

I hate my car.

Does anyone know how to disable auto-locking? Because I'm inches from going Office Space on my car.

Hello Ladies

2010-02-17T11:54:00.000-06:00

I finally, FINALLY can talk about running again.

Because I ran. Twice.

Last week.

Two Times In One Week! It's a miracle!!

So yes, I announced a few weeks ago that I was going to embark on a couch-to-5k journey...and then I promptly...didn't run.

I was sick. I had a cold for 2.5 weeks. That's 18 days. It's a long time to feel like ass, and I was so exhausted that I just didn't have it in me to hit the treadmill.

Enough complaining.

I finally started feeling better...and I bought new shoes (which may be the real reason I started running.

Introducing...

Newtons.

The Lady Isaac.

Hello, Ladies

(I'll admit that I'd hoped that I'd end up with an atrociously bright pair...but I ended up with ones that are surprisingly tame for Newtons)

Ever since I started kettlebells last year, I began hearing more about how working out barefoot was good for you (proprioception is my new favorite word). And then Asics had the nerve to make the toe box in the Nimbus 11s GIGANTIC and I was officially out of love with them. Since I was going to stray from my faithful Nimbii anyway, I decided to employ the "go big or go home" motto. Since I was making a change, I was going to make a big change.

So, yes. Newtons. I've taken them for two runs (or walk/runs, if I'm being honest) and I like them so far. I'm feeling it in weird never-before-used muscles...and am sore in different places.

But I like them. I like running. I like watching the Olympics on the treadmill. Biathlon? YUM.

Kill the Car

2010-02-03T18:12:00.000-06:00

I was driving home from work on Tuesday.

Chug...Chug...Clank...Clank...Whir Whir Whir...

*BEEEEEP* Check Alternator!

*BEEEEEP* Airbag no worky!

*BEEEEEP* Power steering is for sissies!

*BEEeeeeee...

Car. Is. Dead.

(No Battery Power = No Hazard Flashers. Safety third!)

On the highway.

During a snowstorm.

While wearing a dress and tights and heels.

(Do you know what's cold? Being stuck in a car that has no heat while wearing a dress and tights.)

Needless to say, Miss Puff-N-Chug is back in the hospital. She needs a new water pump, $erpentine belt, power $teering pump...

Is it ethical to euthanize a car??

Couch Potato

2010-02-02T17:48:00.001-06:00

Turns out, No Running = No Blogging.

And when I say No Running, I mean NO RUNNING. I got the new Garmin for Christmas, and thought that would kickstart my motivation.

Turns out? Not so much. I ran on December 26th...and then on January 10th...and then on...

Oh, right. NEVER AGAIN.

And it's February. A brand new month. So I think I need a brand new plan. A fun plan. An easy plan.

So I am going to do...

(drumroll)

(...)

(...)

(...)

A couch to 5k plan.

Yes, really.

I mean, don't get me wrong, I could totally bust out a 5k right now.

(And by "totally" I mean "maybe")

I wouldn't be PRing or anything crazy, but I could carry my out-of-shape ass across 3.1 miles.

Right?

RIGHT??

So maybe I couldn't. I guess it's a good thing that week one starts a little something like this:

Walk 4:30
Run :30
Repeat 7 times

Oh yeah, baby. I'm going back to basics. I'm pretty sure I'll be able to run for 30 seconds. :)

I think some new running shoes are in order.

Preciousss

2010-01-06T22:13:00.000-06:00

I got the ultimate triathlon gift for Christmas.

No, not a tri bike.

I revise my statement.

I got the almost ultimate triathlon gift for Christmas.

The Garmin Forerunner 310XT.

I've been doodling "Allison and Forerunner 310XT" surrounded by puffy hearts on my trapper keeper ever since.

Because I am in looooooove.

I opened it at Christmas and immediately put it on. It didn't matter that I wasn't running. I tracked my family's game of Cranium.

I wore it to bed. Resting heart rate is important, yo.

I wore it the next day. Gray and orange went really well with my red sweater. I wouldn't take it off. I couldn't take it off. Which is how my new Garmin got named.

My PRECIOUSSS.

Then...I wore it for a run. The first thing I noticed? IT VIBRATES. When you turn it on. At each mile. No need to annoy your running partners with beeping.

And it tracks your heart rate with a graph!

And it's pretty! I love the orange and gray.

And it lets you switch from one sport to the next by simply hitting the lap button. Switching from family gaming to sleeping to running (the Christmas triathlon) was a breeze. :)

Meow-y Christmas

2009-12-22T14:20:00.004-06:00

You know you have too much time on your hands when...your pets buy each other Christmas presents.

(My God, am I really going to admit to the Interwebs that I am "that girl"??)

(Yes)

Roxie only had one thing on her Christmas list this year. A jet pack.

Akos doesn't have that kind of cash, but he's a thoughtful dog, so he got her some rubbery catnip filled mice. And a Jonas Brothers Christmas card.

Roxie thinks Kevin is sooooo dreamy.

Akos wanted peanut butter...but Roxie got him a bag of Chocolate. Dark Chocolate.

She's meeting with her therapist this weekend to discuss her anger issues and her passive aggressive tendencies.

Happy Holidays!

More Car Drama

2009-12-20T19:39:00.003-06:00

It was Friday. I was in a great mood...I was having a great hair day and it was the day of my team's "holiday lunch" at work.

I left my apartment and went to the parking lot to drive to work, and...

...(pause for dramatic effect)...

My car was gone.

Towed.

(No wonder my remote starter didn't work)

When my windshield was repaired, they didn't save my parking pass.

Faaaak.

So I called my apartment manager and explained the situation. They were very sympathetic because I had left a message with my them the day the glass was replaced to get a new permit, but they never got back to me.

So yes, my car was towed and I had to go to a sketchy neighborhood to get it back...but at least I didn't have to PAY to get it back. Towing is expensive, yo.

I hear bad things come in threes. I better check my to make sure my AAA hasn't expired. :)

Kiss My Glass

2009-12-16T17:26:00.000-06:00

It was 2pm and Ryan and I were making cookies.

(Molasses sandwich cookies with cinnamon icing, in case you were curious.)

(And they are FREAKING DELICIOUS, might I add.)

My phone rang. It was the St. Paul police department. Someone had broken into my car.

AT 2PM IN THE AFTERNOON. That's broad daylight, for those of you keeping track at home.

Luckily, someone had witnessed the crime and immediately called the police.

Unluckily, the three bastards broke my passenger window, rooted through my car, and stole my GPS.

My passenger seat. Anyone want a ride?

Luckily, I have insurance so I only had to shell out $100 to get the window replaced.

Unluckily, the GPS wasn't covered.

Check out my sweet new GPS. In some circles it's called PAPER.

But I am safe. My car is fine. The window is fixed.

The silver lining to this cloudy story? My car is the cleanest it has ever been. When the window was fixed, they vacuumed out all the shards of glass...along with the sand, dirt, stray Cheetos and Starburst wrappers. Score!!

Race Recap: Monster Half Marathon 2009

2009-11-05T17:15:00.000-06:00

So to finish out the month of October, I did a half marathon. On Halloween.

In Costume.

Emily and I went as Sexy Chippendale's Dancers.

With emphasis on the sexy.

I had been sick and sleep deprived all week and only ran once since the Des Moines marathon...Emily was injured...so we just ran for fun. I took my chip off my shoe so "officially" I DNFed...I just didn't want such a shitty time to be recorded for all of history.

But we had a great time. We enjoyed the hell out of the course, and got a lot of comments on our kickass costumes.

I even made $3 - an adoring fan tucked some cash into my pants. :)

And the race medal doubles as a belt buckle. Yes, really.

Monster half marathon: A SUCCESS.

After the race, Ryan and I carved a kickass jack-o-lantern...

Pumpkin carving: A SUCCESS.

And then we handed out candy to Trick-or-Treaters.

Halloween 2009: A SUCCESS.

Race Recap: Des Moines Marathon 2009

2009-10-22T17:15:00.000-05:00

So I was a little bit nervous for the big Number Three. I had been feeling tired and sluggish all week. I was so tired that I kind of didn't do...well...anything. Ryan and I met for a midweek swim...and after about 15 minutes of acutal swimming, we headed to the deep end to goof off. That's it. No taper runs. No recovery runs. SHIT training at its finest.

We headed to Des Moines on Friday, and Erin's friend Sudhish made us homemeade Indian food. SUPER YUM (and I checked #9 off the list).

Mom and Dad have never seen me run a real race before so they joined me for the regular pre-race stuff on Saturday...picking up my packet, carb loading, drinking wine. Because all great marathoners drink wine before they race.

Emily and Chuck were also in town for the half marathon. Em and I decided to run the first two miles together - before the courses split. The plan was to meet at the 2:20 pace sign.

Finally, it was race morning. Ryan dropped me off at the start about 20 minutes before the race would start. I immediately got in line for the biffys...I had some business that needed to be attended to. Ahem.

Imagine my nervousness when 15 minutes had passed and I was STILL IN LINE. The masses were lined up to start the race and I was still in line, wearing my sweats. GAH.

So I asked the dude ahead of me, who was wearing JEANS (and clearly not running the marathon), if there was any way I could cut the line. He agreed, I did my business, and went off in search of the sweats drop.

I cut across the mass at the start (and randomly ran into Ragnar Chick Kristyn), sprinted across Nollen Plaza, threw my sweats bag to the volunteers and headed back to the start. The gun went off as I was heading back...at least the race is chip timed. I weaved between the spectators, hopped the fence, and crossed the starting line just steps behind the 2:20 pace group. Whew. This was going to work.

Except Emily was no where to be seen. The 2:20 pace group was speeding up and I didn't want to blow all my energy in the first mile, so I resigned myself to the fact that I wasn't going to be able to catch Emily. I backed off on the pace (I'd been running a 10-minute pace) and focused on running my own race.

And I felt good. My legs felt normal and not too tired. NICE.

So I just ran it like I felt it.

Mom, Dad and Ryan were at mile 2 with signs and cowbells.

Where's Waldo?

I rounded the corner and the half and full courses split. We were on our own.

And just in time for the first hill. I just kept putting one foot in front of the other...making forward progress. The hills ended at about mile 8 - just in time for me to see my family.

You wouldn't not even believe how cute they were. Mom had a different sign every time I saw her. Dad was snapping pictures and handing out fruit and candy. Ryan was cheering at the top of his lungs and making lacivious comments (Note to Ryan: MY PARENTS ARE RIGHT THERE. NO I DON'T WANT YOU TO SHOW ME YOUR ASS RIGHT NOW).

Cutest Mom Ever

I looped around a mile and they were still there...new sign, still cheering. It was so great to have them there.

Part of the course are out-and-back-ish - it loops around but comes back to the same streets. So it was "fun" to see the lead pack when I was less than half way through the race. But it was more fun to see other Marathon Maniacs out on the course - every single maniac that I saw waved or shouted. It's fun being part of a group.

The course turned onto Kingman and I spotted Erin and Ryan cheering. We headed up to Drake and did a lap around the track. SUPER FUN.

And I hit the half way mark. My half marathon split was 2:28 - so I was on pace for a 4:56 marathon. Except not really, because there was not a chance in hell I was negative splitting this race. It was my THIRD MARATHON in three weeks, for Pete's sake.

But I was amazed at how good I was feeling.

Cutest Dad Ever

The good happy feelings persisted until about mile 18. I had taken a gu at 17.5 when I realized that I had only had one gu, some candy and some fruit to that point. Which is clearly not enough calories to get me through 26.2. Mile 18 was the beginning of my bonk.

I fought the fatigue through mile 19 and was feeling good again by mile 20. Probably because I looked at my Garmin and realized that if I kept my pace to 12-minute miles, I could very possibly beat my time from Twin Cities two weeks earlier.

DUDE. REALLY.

But when mile 24 rolled around, I was ready to peace out this bitch. I was tired and just wanted to be done. I didn't care if I beat Twin Cities. I didn't care if I beat Whistlestop. I just wanted to STOP RUNNING, GAH.

But of course I didn't stop running. Instead I ate some PowerGel Blasts, growled at my peeps (including Mom's boss, sorry!) and grumbled my way to mile 25.

Where I looked at my watch and realized that at "trifecta PR" was still possible, but only if I busted my ass.

So I sucked it up and pushed it. I was focused and repeating mantras and pulling out every last trick in my bag to keep pushing...and it worked.

I crossed the line in 5:03:10. 47 glorious seconds faster than Twin Cities.

Three marathons. Three weeks. Three states. And the last marathon was the fastest of the three. I'm feeling pretty badass right about now.

For those keeping track at home...

2009-10-21T11:50:00.000-05:00

My progress on the 26.2 food to eat after the marathons:

1. ~~Ice cream~~
2. ~~Reeses Pieces~~
3. ~~Caramels~~
4. ~~"Gravel Gertie" donut~~
5. Nachos
6. Punch Pizza
7. ~~Apple Crisp~~
8. ~~Caramel Apple~~
9. ~~Indian Food~~
10. Pumpkin pie
11. Homemade Bread with garlic butter
12. ~~Puppy Chow~~
13. ~~Chocolate Milk~~
14. Homemade Pasta
15. Rice Krispie Bars
16. Butternut Squash Lasagna
17. ~~Candy Corn~~
18. Fried Ice Cream
19. Doritos
20. Sushi
21. ~~Sweet Potato Fries~~
22. Brownie Batter
23. Margaritas
24. ~~Onion Rings~~
25. Brie and Apples
26. ~~Cookie Dough~~
26.2. ~~One Starburst~~

Ryan and I are heading to Chicago for the weekend...I think I'll be able to finish of the list before Monday. :)

Des Moines race report is coming soon!

Race Recap: Whistlestop Marathon 2009

2009-10-12T23:04:00.001-05:00

Whistlestop Marathon? CHECK.

Two down, one to go. I've once again attained Bronze "Marathon Maniac" status.

I was able to foam roll my TC Marathon aches and pains away and felt tired, but good when Saturday morning rolled around. I knew it was going to be another slow marathon.

My expectations were low. My "official" goal was to finish. My "secret" goal was to Not PW (Current PW: 5:16:14).

We awoke to a winter wonderland. Snow covering the ground. Snow! In October!

Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot.

And it was cold. The thermometer read 30, but with the 20mph winds, it felt like 18. Eighteen!

Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot.

:)

So we layered up, and then put on more layers, and headed to the start.

Luckily it's a small race so we were able to wear our warmups until two minutes before the gun went off.

We started on a paved road. Because of the snow it was slick and I lost my footing a few times. But after a mile, it turned onto a trail, which lasted for the next 24 miles. Whew. Jen and I were ready to get in the zone.

The first miles were uneventful.

At mile 9, I discovered that my headphones didn't work. Crap.

At mile 18, they had Nutter Butter cookies at the water stop. Holy shit, they were GOOD. Why didn't someone tell me that Nutter Butters are SO FREAKING DELICIOUS?? Or maybe it was just the crazy marathon hunger talking. :)

At mile 20, we decided that we were going to pull a "Jeff Galloway." One minute walk breaks at every mile marker. I just needed a way to break up the run into smaller, more manageable chunks. I was tiiiired, yo.

Because you know what is tiring? RUNNING BACK TO BACK MARATHONS. Also, Talking in ALL CAPS. Which explains why I'm eating a Snickerdoodle cookie cupcake while writing this post. I've got to keep my energy up. :)

At mile 26, we saw our posse. Mary snapped some photos as we ran by, giving high 5's to the team.

I think this is a good time to mention my invention: GAITERS. Okay, so I didn't invent gaiters, but I did make my own gaiters for this race. Ally Gaiters. :) Last year I got a ridiculous amount of sand and rocks in my shoes, so I decided that I needed to prevent it this year. Cut the bottom off some cute argyle socks, safety pin them to the back and sides of shoes, and presto! Gaiters. That are business casual. You know, in case I ever need to run into the office on a rocky trail.

ANYWAY. Where was I? Oh yes, finishing the marathon.

Nice hair!

I looked down at my watch in the home stretch and saw "5:14" I knew it was time to HUSTLE if I wanted to beat my Personal Worst. I announced to Jen that we were NOT going to PW and that it was time to get a move on. SPEEEEEEED! We need it! So we hightailed it to the finish, crossing at 5:15:07.

That was damn close...we only had 67 seconds to spare.

Marathon #7? In the bank.

And to continue the Trifecta of Pain? Des Moines Marathon. Five Days. I am cautiously optimistic.

Race Recap: Twin Cities Marathon 2009

2009-10-05T15:37:00.001-05:00

One down, two to go.

The weather was perfect for a marathon. Cool and crisp, 42 degrees, overcast, not windy. We couldn't ask for a better day.

Ryan and I crossed the start together and parted immediately. He was off to achieve a sub-4 marathon and I was shooting for something closer to 5.

The first 12 miles were good. I felt good, my pace was right on, and I felt strong.

But the wheels started wobbling at mile 13. I was starting to get tired and I wasn't as focused, so I popped in my earbuds and started jamming out to the iPod. I normally don't like to race with music but I didn't want the race to spiral into a death march. The music helped, but I felt guilty that I was "ignoring" the fans. So I alternated - little bit of music love...little bit of fan love (including some fan love from Melissa at about mile 16).

I kept putting one foot ahead of the other and set small goals. Just gotta make it to Nokomis...Just gotta make it to the river...Just gotta make it to Summit... I could feel that I was getting slower with every mile, but didn't want to look at my Garmin to confirm it. So I didn't. I only looked at Garmina to see what my distance and heart rate was.

I finally got to Summit - mile 22. There was no giving up at this point. First I spotted Emily's husband and parents (who were superfans - I spotted them about 5 different times on the course). Then Team Roseville, gave me oranges and pretzels. Then Jim's band (Toast!) was playing at the mile marker. Then I spotted some girlfriends. Bam, bam, bam. So much support...so much love.

But I still had 4 miles to go. Ugh.

At mile 25, I saw JD and she gave me candy corn. :)

At mile 26, I saw Steve and Matt, dressed as a chicken and a cow, and Pharmie, dressed as a kick-ass marathoner. :) As I ran by, Matt shouted out "Just think - only two more marathons after this!" And I promptly punched him in the udder. Just kidding about the udder punch. But you know I was thinking about doing it. :)

By this time, I could see the finish...the beautiful downhill finish. I kicked it up a notch and found a secret pocket of energy that I didn't even know I had...speeding up and cruising across the finish line...

...while doing the "power maker" with my arms.

Finish time: 5:03:57

Not a PW. I'll save the PW for next weekend. :)

The highlight of this race was, hands down, the fans. There were SO MANY people out cheering. So people playing music, holding signs, ringing cowbells. The fans were amazing.

And even though I started feeling the effect of undertraining around mile 13, I chugged through this marathon, only walking through water stops. I was tired but determined, and was able to run with a smile.

And I got some shiny bling to boot.

Speaking of chugging...Next up: Whistlestop marathon. Five days and counting. Yikes.

Pace Band

2009-10-02T14:49:00.000-05:00

Operation: Blow My Life The Fuck Up will commence in about two days.

(One day, 16 hours, 11 minutes and 26 seconds)

(Not that anyone is counting)

Some people have pace bands when they run a marathon to keep them motivated to help stay on pace. I am going to create a food band. Twenty Six food items that I'm going to eat after the marathons. Not all at once. :)

1. Ice cream
2. Reeses Pieces
3. Caramels
4. "Gravel Gertie" donut
5. Nachos
6. Punch Pizza
7. Apple Crisp
8. Caramel Apple
9. Indian Food
10. Pumpkin pie
11. Homemade Bread with garlic butter
12. Puppy Chow
13. Chocolate Milk
14. Homemade Pasta
15. Rice Krispie Bars
16. Butternut Squash Lasagna
17. Candy Corn
18. Fried Ice Cream
19. Doritos
20. Sushi
21. Sweet Potato Fries
22. Brownie Batter
23. Margaritas
24. Onion Rings
25. Brie and Apples
26. Cookie Dough
26.2. One Starburst

(Marathon munchies. Who, me??)

I think it's safe to say that in November, Operation: Get Your Fat Ass Off The Couch And Lose The 20 Pounds You Gained will commence. :)

The SHIT method

2009-09-10T15:49:00.000-05:00

I'm going to take a quick pause from the relay talk to talk about ME.

Because have I mentioned that I'm running three marathons and a half marathon next month?

Oh, and also? I'm running three marathons and a half marathon next month.

Ally, how does one train to run three marathons and a half marathon next month, you may be asking.

SHIT.

No, really. That's my method. The SHIT method.

I am completely burned out. I've been training since December and am ready to be done. I can't motivate myself to do my running workouts, so I've resorted to Sudden High Intensity Training.

I get my long runs in every Saturday, but by the time I'm done, I don't want to run again. So I take the next few days off from running, sticking to aqua jogging and kettlebells. By the time Thursday rolls around, I start to feel guilty that I've skipped so many runs, so I'll squeeze in an 8-miler. Taking four days off IN A ROW without running?? What kind of marathoner am I?

So my running diet consists of all runs being crammed into a 3-day period. SHIT.

So it will come as no surprise that on race day I expect to perform like SHIT.

:)

Ba-CAAAK!

2009-09-09T18:48:00.005-05:00

Next up was the Great River Relay.

My team did this relay last year and had a BLAST.

So we took all of the stuff we learned last year to make The Chicks Bigger and Better and Stronger and Faster.

The thing that helped the most?

Those of you that said "training harder" lose 10 points.

It's all about the outfit.

I channeled my inner June Cleaver and sewed matching Chick aprons for the entire team. Yes, I sew.

That, in combination with yellow socks, yellow feathers for our hair, yellow tanks...

I spray-painted my running shoes, people. SPRAY PAINTED.

So we rounded our yellow selves up and headed to the start. It was raining, but we didn't care because REEEEELAY!!!

Jen was our first runner. We were waiting in the van for her to come in...and before we knew it, she was there. No, really. She rolled in and we were still sitting in the van. So she had to stand around for a minute while Lisa got her stuff together. They did the handoff and Lisa was off.

It was still raining, so she donned her Umbrella hat. Yes, really.

Lisa had a solid run, and handed off to Melissa. Her recap is here.

She handed off to Ruth, who ran like a bat out of hell.

Next up was Karen. Karen started running a few minutes after a guy from team "Panty Ho's" (they run like crazy) that we had nicknamed "Ba-Wang" (Ba-CAAAAK, Ba-Wang...get it?). Karen is a rock star and she chased him the entire run, passing him at the end. Brings a new meaning to the term "Chicked."

Karen handed off to me. I started my "Very Difficult" 8.3 mile run just as the rain started to fall again. At least it would be cool for my run. I immediately found my groove and tackled the rolling hills, coming in nine minutes before my projected time. SCORE.

I handed off to Duana and our van was off duty.

We found a cute outdoor restaurant and grabbed something to eat...

And headed to the next exchange to nap and finish decorating the van.

Attached with...wait for it...Duck Tape

To Be Continued...

Will the ducks fly off when we drive? Will Ruth tumble off the van to her death?

Tune in next time for...Great River Relay: Part 2. At the rate I'm going, it should be posted mid-December. :)

RELAY

2009-09-01T16:51:00.001-05:00

I've been a busy gal these past few weeks. All because of one word:

RELAY

I did the Wild West Relay with team "Back Off Man, I'm a Scientist" a few weekends ago, and then two weekends ago I did the Great River Relay with my homegirls, "The Chicks" as we tried to recreate the magic from last year's amazing relay.

We totally, did, by the way.

But. First things first. Wild West.

This team was co-ed and I wasn't in charge. Dude, do you know what I would highly recommend? NOT BEING IN CHARGE. It's a piece of cake! You don't have to do a thing, except run your legs. Why didn't I think of this before?!? :)

Ryan and I met up with a van-load of people in Ames (having only met Danielle before) and the six of us headed to Fort Collins. Even though we were cooped up in a van for ~12 hours, it was a fun trip.

We did the standard night before the race stuff...carb loaded with the full group of 12...stocked up on food and water for the van...and then immediately went to bed, because DUDES, we had to get up at 4am. And here I though only triathletes were crazy enough to get up that early for a race.

Morning. It was game time. We checked in, posed for some pictures...

...and Marie, our first runner, was off. We started decorating the van.

She passed the baton to John.

Onto Lindsay...

Who passed it to me. The run was...fine. Not blog-worthy, really. I knew we were at altitude, but it didn't really feel that different. All my flat-land runs have been sucking lately, so I was mentally prepared for a suck run. But it was fine. I was fine.

I passed onto Ryan. He had the beginnings of the hills and his run was...challenging. But he made it and handed off to Kelsey.

As the van zipped by Kelsey less than a mile into her run, we knew something was wrong. She was cramping up, feeling crappy, and was kind of freaking out a little bit. We told her that time didn't matter...she just needed to cover the miles. So she decided to add some walk breaks and she made it...handing off to Shawn of Van 2.

First Leg? DONE.

We went to the next major exchange. We had a few hours, so Ryan and I curled up on a blanket on the grass and tried to catch a few Zzzz's. Before we knew it, Lauren buzzed in, handing off to Marie.

This was the beginning of our most difficult leg - lots of climbing for some...lots of descending for others.

Marie took a wrong turn and got a little bit lost...luckily another van spotted her and got her turned around before she got too far. She kicked some serious ass on her hills. I was proud like a Mama Bear. :)

She handed off to John, who also had to deal with the Climbing of Remarkably Arduous Peaks. I will refer to it as CRAP from this point forward. :) He took the CRAP like a champ and passed off to Lindsay.

Lindsay has So Much Spunk. Seriously, that was the best part of hanging with these 21-year-olds. They have so much Energy! It's like hanging out with a puppy.

She passed off to me, where I was ready to run the longest leg of the relay - 10 miles. All downhill. Downhill? Now THAT I can handle.

Though, there were a lot of cattle grates that I had to run over

It was such a beautiful run. I ran out of the mountains, down a niiiice long decent into the prairie. There were cows, unfenced, four feet away from me. The sun was setting. Absolutely gorgeous.

By the time I passed off to Ryan and it was completely dark. I felt amazing...except for all the bug bites.

Ryan kicked ass on his night run. Probably because we lined up under the full moon...and gave him a full moon. :)

Kelsey felt much better for her next run and had a solid handoff to Van 2. Whew. Off duty, once again.

The next major exchange had a cafeteria available for sleeping. Once again, Ryan and I busted out the blanket and curled up. Between the two of us, we had a blanket and a pillow, so I used Ryan as a human pillow. :)

We got four hours of sleep, which was a godsend. ANY sleep is nice on a relay, but four hours? Unheard of.

We were rested and ready to tackle our last set of legs.

Marie rocked.
John kicked ass. Had some IT band issues. I think he got caught by the IT Bandits. :)
Lindsay was awesome.
I had a shorty run.
Ryan had some hills, but showed them who was boss.
Kelsey had more issues. After she finished, she said this was the hardest thing she'd ever done.

And then, WE WERE DONE. We headed into Steamboat, grabbed breakfast (our first REAL FOOD in two days) and got cleaned up. I swear, that was the best shower I'd EVER TAKEN.

We headed to the finish and waited for Lauren and the rest of the team to roll in.

We crossed the finish line as a team. SUCH a fun relay.

Certain Death: Three Days And Counting

2009-08-04T17:15:00.000-05:00

So the half ironman came and went.

And guess how many miles I ran last week?

Everyone that guessed "NONE!" wins a unicorn. Check your mailbox. It will arrive next week.

I took Monday and Tuesday off from working out. Recovery is an important step in...uh...recovering.

I drank Margaritas on Wednesday. Margaritas contain LIME and SALT. Vitamin C + Electrolytes. SO IMPORTANT. You know. For the recovery.

I went to Master's swimming on Thursday. But only because I wanted to tell the instructor about how I kicked so much ass in the swim at the tri. :)

And work consumed my life from Friday until Monday. It's Tuesday and I already have my 40 hours in for the week. GAH.

(Alternate title: Saturday's 12.5. Not miles. Hours. At Work.)

But I finally got back on the horse last night and went out for a run. Since work destroyed all plans of a long run while it was busy destroying my soul, I needed to run long-ish. So I ran 10 miles and called it good.

And it felt good, so that's always a bonus.

BUT GET TO THE POINT, WOMAN.

I'm running the Wild West Relay in THREE DAYS. A race at altitude? Yikes.

I've joined team Back Off Man, I'm A Scientist - and before you ask, no, I'm not a scientist - but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night.

So, yeah. I've got 17.7 miles at altitude on the schedule for the weekend. At least I've got the sleep deprivation part down pat. :)

Race Report: Chisago Lakes Half Ironman 2009

2009-07-29T10:25:00.005-05:00

I was nervous about this tri. And when I say nervous, I mean inches-from-needing-to-be-institutionalized crazy ass TERRIFIED.

Really.

Ask Ryan. He'll vouch for me.

(He's a saint, by the way, for putting up with all my Triathlon Crazy)

So yeah, ~~nervous~~ crazy.

But the morning of the race, I was surprisingly calm. We got to the race with plenty of time to spare. First things first...gotta pick up our race numbers.

Do you remember Grandma's Marathon of Doom? Well, my bib number for that race was 364.

I can read your mind. "Funny you should mention that, Ally. Why is that relevant?"

The volunteer handed me my packet and bib. I prayed under my breath that I'd have "good" number. Something with a seven. Something that gave me a good vibe.

What did I get?

Three. Six. Four.

Motherfucker.

This is a sign. This race is going to SUCK.

Or, the universe is giving me a second chance. To "Take Back The Number," if you will.

Anyway.

We set up transition, chatted with friends, slithered into our wetsuits, and hopped into the lake for a warmup. I was excited for the swim, and my warmup felt good.

We wandered around the beach, looking for Steve and his CVA students, but they were nowhere to be found. Bummer, I wanted to pee in the lake with Steve again this year. :)

And before I knew it, people were lining up in their waves for the start. Holy crap. Holy crap. Holy crap. I felt nauseous. I was blinking back tears. I am crazy. Why am I doing this?

Just as Ryan's wave waded into the water, Pharmie spotted me and talking to her was just the distraction I needed. We chatted about her previous half ironmans (ironmen?). And before I knew it, they were calling my wave to the water.

DUDE.

I adjusted my goggles, took a deep breath...BANG. The gun went off. It's game time.

SWIM

I felt most confident going into the swim. I've been doing Masters Swimming at my gym for the past few months and have been cruising. I was going to make the swim my bitch.

And I totally did. I passed a ton of people, yet never felt crowded. I didn't get kicked in the face and I didn't have to modify my stroke to protect my face. The swim felt glorious. I loved every second.

My goal for the swim was 40 minutes. I knew I could swim faster in the pool, but I tacked on a few extra minutes to my goal since I wouldn't be pushing off the wall every 25 yards. I didn't take into account the fact that I would be wearing a wetsuit, which made me very floaty and Lightning Fast.

So when I exited the water and saw that the clock read 45 minutes...I was shocked. My wave started 14 minutes after the gun went off, so that meant that my time was 31 minutes. Which, DUDE. That is NINE MINUTES faster than my goal.

That can't be right. Can it??

Tack on a few minutes as I ran to transition...

Swim: 32:59. DUDE.

Editor's note: Both Ryan and I had fast swim times - as did several others - so we're guessing that the swim was a bit short. Boo.

T1

I headed into transition. I had tied a balloon to the rack where my bike was, so I had no trouble spotting it. I whipped off the wetsuit (it was easier than I'd imagined) and threw on my bike gear.

UGGGGH. Biking. This is what I've been dreading.

BIKE

So I got on my bike. And rode.

I kept track...guess how many people I passed on the bike?

ZERO.

Because I was being passed left and right.

Everyone and their grandmother was passing me.

Everyone.

Ev-er-y-one.

But, whatever. I knew that biking was my weakness, so I was expecting this to happen.

The bike was uneventful. The only exciting part was when a sheriff truck passed me, hit a cone, and the cone was tossed into the air, twisting and turning, flying in my general direction...but didn't hit me. I was bummed. Guess I'll have to keep on riding.

You know it's bad when you'd rather get hit in the face with a traffic cone than finish a 56-mile bike ride. :)

But in all honesty, it was fine. I was fine. Physically I felt good - I wasn't speedy, but I didn't hurt, so I can't complain.

I was shooting for a 4-hour bike and was happy to reach transition with a time of 3:45. Fifteen minutes to spare? That just gave me more cushion for the run in case I needed to walk.

Editor's note: Annnnd I'm pretty sure the bike was short, too. WTF? Who organizes these things??

T2

Steve was waiting for me in transition. With his camera.

WHYYYY, Internet, do I feel the need to make weird faces, when I know that these pictures will be posted on Facebook??

I love triathlon! Or not.

RUN

I scarfed down a Rice Krispie Bar (yum) and started the run.

I was expecting my legs to feel heavy and sluggish, and was surprised that they felt...normal. Weird. But my feet were numb from the bike...I figured they'd wake up after a mile or two.

So I plodded along, jammin' out to my iPod.

Based on Ryan's predicted finish time, we knew we'd see each other on the run. At about 2.5 miles, I spotted him. It was like a scene in a movie - we were running toward each other - and happened to meet right under a pair of sprinklers that some kind spectator set up. He gave me a quick smooch as the cool water rained down on us and we went on our merry ways. It was cute.

I kept on running...it was HOT, yo. The sun was directly overhead and there wasn't a whole lot of shade.

Oh, and remember how I thought my feet would wake up?

WRONG.

They did not wake up. EVER.

I stopped at around mile six to adjust my speed laces...they were way too tight and there was no way to make them looser. GAH.

And then my iPod died.

GAHHHHHH.

So I did what I had to do...I pulled the shotgun out of my pocket and SHOT MYSELF.

Or, I just kept running.

Thirteen miles felt like an eternity. The course was very hilly - constant rollers - so even when I was on the downhill, I was mentally preparing because the next hill was right there waiting for me.

But I just kept chugging - only walking through water stops - and finally made it back to the park.

I rounded the final turn, ran up the hill, spotted Ryan, Pharmie and Steve cheering for me...

AND FINISHED MY FIRST HALF IRONMAN.

Hot Damn.

Swim: 32:59 (1:42/100)
T1: 2:53
Bike: 3:45:01 (14.7 mph)
T2: 1:56
Run: 2:21:29 (10:48 min/mile)

Overall: 6:44:20

(And thanks to Steve for the pictures. He rocks, yo.)

Holy Half Ironman, Batman

2009-07-27T12:01:00.000-05:00

Chisago Lake Half Ironman? Done.

I'm too tired to bust out a wordy recap, but here are my splits...

Swim: 32:59 (1:42/100)
T1: 2:53
Bike: 3:45:01 (14.7 mph)
T2: 1:56
Run: 2:21:29 (10:48 min/mile)

Overall: 6:44:20

I was shooting for a 7-hour tri, so I'm pleased with my time. But if I ever say that I want to do another Half Ironman? PUNCH ME IN THE FACE.

Smokin' Ass

2009-07-23T11:11:00.000-05:00

Akos dug into his Suitcase of Courage for a strong win last night.

He set the cat on fire.

I'm only half kidding.

I was in the kitchen, baking cookies, when I noticed something. A smell. I checked the oven. Nope, the cookies were fine. But something was burning. Something like...hair.

Nay, FUR.

Roxie's ass was smoking. AKOS SET THE CAT ON FIRE.

So he was nowhere near her when her ass wandered upon the candle sitting on the counter...but I think it's clear that through some sort of mind control technique, he made her wag her little ass over the open flame.

I think it's obvious - Akos is the clear victor. Roxie won many battles...but Akos won the war.

He fooled many with his sweet face...but believe me, THIS DOG CANNOT BE TRUSTED.

And so ends the Akos vs. Roxie fight series - Akos is heading home tonight. I'm sad. Roxie is ecstatic.

Editor's note: Roxie is fine - she only singed off the ends of some of her butt fur. In fact, I don't think she even realized that she did it.

Cagematch

2009-07-21T21:29:00.002-05:00

Roxie vs. Akos

A FIGHT TO THE DEATH.

And by "fight to the death," I mean Roxie will glare menacingly while emitting a low frequency growl until Akos notices a butterfly fluttering outside the window and OOOH boy butterflyButterflyBUTTERFLY! ALSO, BUTTERFLYYYYY!

Fighter Bios:

ROXIE
Weight: 8 pounds
Signature move: Hiss, lunge and swat combo
Favorite color: Pink
Roxie has been featured on ESPN's Friday Night Fights as the "Crabby Tabby."

Can you hear the grrrrrrrrowl through the Interwebs??

AKOS
Weight: 50 pounds
Signature move: Smothering opponent with his tongue
Special talent: Akos has lightning fast speed. He was clocked going 34mph as he raced into the kitchen after hearing a piece of carrot hit the kitchen floor.
Favorite color: Light grey
Back in Akos' youth, he won more medals and ribbons than you can shake a stick at.

Editor's note: As a medal whore, I am a little bit jealous of all of the bling this dog has acquired

Akos wears a crocheted cape while in the ring. Also while he naps on the couch.

Fights are held daily at the Allycat Theatre in Minneapolis, MN. Tickets are available through Ticketmaster.

I don't know about you...but I've got $50 on Roxie. :)