Athletically, this year has sucked.
I've done two marathons, each a new PW. It hurts my soul to get slower with each race.
I've been faking triathlon training. Seriously, faking it for seven months. It has not been pretty.
Every workout I've done is with a group. I swim with the masters group. I bike with the TCBC. I run with the Roseville club.
I don't enjoy training.
I don't enjoy running.
I don't enjoy racing.
So WHY AM I DOING THIS TO MYSELF?
Because I used to enjoy these things.
'Tis true. This blog is proof. I used to go out for runs, care about the distance, care about the pace, and nail my times. With each workout I could feel myself improving. It was challenging and rewarding.
So where did that go?
I think it got lost. Lost in the shuffle. I've stopped paying attention to what I need and instead focusing more on what the group was doing. Group is doing a speed workout? I guess I'll do a speed workout. Group is biking 30 miles at 16mph? Guess I'll bike 30 miles at 16mph.
I need to get back to basics. Back to where it all began.
Running.
Alone.
Running used to be my therapy - now it's the reason I NEED therapy. :)
And yes, it sounds selfish, but I believe it's what I need. In the process of attaching myself to these groups, I lost a little bit of myself. I lost my "me" time. I lost the time where I work through the stress of life. I lost the time where I could let my thoughts wander and my imagination run wild.
And those close to me will agree - I haven't been as happy this year as I was last year. I am not the happy runner trotting along the path, flashing my Colgate smile. I am the curmudgeonly plodster, giving you the finger. :)
I've already done a few runs this week to test this theory. After my first solo run I finished with so much positive energy, proclaiming "I am SO GLAD that I signed up for back-to-back-to-back marathons!" Yesterday I warmed up with Ryan but then we split off to do our own workouts. It was the best of both worlds - and I had a great run.
So yes. Back to basics.
I've done two marathons, each a new PW. It hurts my soul to get slower with each race.
I've been faking triathlon training. Seriously, faking it for seven months. It has not been pretty.
Every workout I've done is with a group. I swim with the masters group. I bike with the TCBC. I run with the Roseville club.
I don't enjoy training.
I don't enjoy running.
I don't enjoy racing.
So WHY AM I DOING THIS TO MYSELF?
Because I used to enjoy these things.
'Tis true. This blog is proof. I used to go out for runs, care about the distance, care about the pace, and nail my times. With each workout I could feel myself improving. It was challenging and rewarding.
So where did that go?
I think it got lost. Lost in the shuffle. I've stopped paying attention to what I need and instead focusing more on what the group was doing. Group is doing a speed workout? I guess I'll do a speed workout. Group is biking 30 miles at 16mph? Guess I'll bike 30 miles at 16mph.
I need to get back to basics. Back to where it all began.
Running.
Alone.
Running used to be my therapy - now it's the reason I NEED therapy. :)
And yes, it sounds selfish, but I believe it's what I need. In the process of attaching myself to these groups, I lost a little bit of myself. I lost my "me" time. I lost the time where I work through the stress of life. I lost the time where I could let my thoughts wander and my imagination run wild.
And those close to me will agree - I haven't been as happy this year as I was last year. I am not the happy runner trotting along the path, flashing my Colgate smile. I am the curmudgeonly plodster, giving you the finger. :)
I've already done a few runs this week to test this theory. After my first solo run I finished with so much positive energy, proclaiming "I am SO GLAD that I signed up for back-to-back-to-back marathons!" Yesterday I warmed up with Ryan but then we split off to do our own workouts. It was the best of both worlds - and I had a great run.
So yes. Back to basics.
9 Comments:
Sometimes going back to where you started is all you need! And while I love (love love love) my team, I still prefer to train alone. I hope you find your way back :)
I don't think it's selfish at all - sometimes the needs of the group don't align with the needs of the self. It's good to weigh that out and decide what is best for YOU.
I hope that doesn't mean that you're not going to swim with Steve tonight!? :)
You're the only one who can say what you need. The rest of us are just mooches on you.
Why? Because you're So Effing Cool. True story. I'm not being sarcastic in the least. Swear!
So many comments, so little space...
I know I only did one trianthon, at a short distance and I didn't really train much for it, but it showed me one thing. Running is where it's at. Just like Natalie Portman, It's Where the Heart Is. I can't tell you the wieght that has been lifted - the guilt alone for not training was killing me!
Two, "curmudgeonly" - great word.
Third, don't forget, back-to-back marathons AND a 1/2 three weeks later. Rest up a bit and then race hard. OR, run with your friend who will have just done her first marathon the 14 days before :)
My marketing prof called it "stick to your knitting". Stick with what makes you happy, what you love doing, you'll be good at it because your happy. Do it they way you like to do it.
I love running alone. I can totally relate to your post - definitely carve out time for solo workouts!
It was nice seeing your Colgate smile on the paths this morning.
well sounds like you know exactly what to do! running with people is nice every so often, but i do enjoy my alone runs :)
I can totally relate to having your season end up far from where you thought it would be. I keep trying to find the love that I lost...kind of like searching for that one missing sock on laundry day.
All else fails, lay off the activities that burned you out for a while. Find a new athletic endeavor to stay in shape with. Curling perhaps?
So you're probably like "Why the hell is she commenting on all these old posts!?"
Because I've been behind on blog reading.
Anyway, I ran by myself all summer. And it was nice. Then it got hot and the miles got longer and I wished I had a running group. Now I am back in Ames and pretty much only run with the group and it makes me happy! But yeah, the solo running time was much enjoyed for a while...
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