Step 1: Weigh yourself. Take note of your weight.
Step 2: Eat something that will give you food poisoning (or drink lake water, or piss off the Baby Jesus, or I don't really know what happened)
Step 3: Vomit profusely for 5 hours
Step 3a: Attempt to stay hydrated by drinking water
Step 3b: Call "Ralph" on the "Big White Telephone" - expelling the water you just drank
Step 4: Weigh yourself. Amazing! You now weigh 5 pounds less.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
That's right, folks. Instead of reveling in the glory of being a newly minted triathlete, I spent yesterday evening praying to the porcelain god. I'm feeling better today, but haven't been brave enough to eat anything. More 7up, please...
Step 2: Eat something that will give you food poisoning (or drink lake water, or piss off the Baby Jesus, or I don't really know what happened)
Step 3: Vomit profusely for 5 hours
Step 3a: Attempt to stay hydrated by drinking water
Step 3b: Call "Ralph" on the "Big White Telephone" - expelling the water you just drank
Step 4: Weigh yourself. Amazing! You now weigh 5 pounds less.
That's right, folks. Instead of reveling in the glory of being a newly minted triathlete, I spent yesterday evening praying to the porcelain god. I'm feeling better today, but haven't been brave enough to eat anything. More 7up, please...
Labels: I Hurt, Oversharing, Sick
11 Comments:
I don't think you pissed off the Baby Jesus. If you had, you would have had to endure all that then find out you'd gained 5 pounds.
Feel better soon.
'Call "Ralph" on the "Big White Telephone"'
Hee!
Ohhh, so that's the secret!
I hope you feel better!
Go for ginger ale - I always found that the most settling.
All because you didn't have Stenzel's spaghettios!
Hope you feel better soon!
No fun driving the porcelain bus!
Regarding the Ragnar Relay... We're the Blazing Turtles. We start at 8:30 am, and I'll be running leg 2, so I'll see you at the start and possibly at the first exchange point.
We're clueless and unorganized, so I'm sure it will be a hilarious disaster!
oh no!!! hope you feel better soon :(
I hope you're feeling better!! I haven't had to call Ralph for a while now....
What the hell did you eat???
:(
Feel better soon!
OUCH!
ewwwww
and I hope you feel better quick!
and it was nice to meet you pre race!
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